Love You More

Here we go again! Another woman getting your man’s attention.  More arguing.  More fighting.  More excuses.  Not from him, but for him.  Excuses created by you.

Can you recognize when you love too much? 

Or maybe the better question is: Can you recognize when you don’t love you enough?

  

“My baby's fine
He always keeps me guessing
But never keeps me guessing about his love
He's had more girls than Howard Hughes had money
and you may think it funny when I say he loves me only
and who are you to say what he did when I was not around
just because I fell in love with Casanova Brown”

Its 3:00 a.m. and he just staggered in.  You won’t ask him where’s been because it’ll only start an argument.  He pushes on your shoulder to tell you he’s hungry.  “Fix me some eggs or something”, he says.  You grumble and do just a little fussing.  But its enough to start him to screaming, cursing, and calling you every kind of bitch he can think of.  You make more excuses for him.  While you’re fixing his eggs.

“Act 2 scene 5 is my command performance
my name is clairvoyance and it's all too clear
I was the one who said tune in tomorrow
I think about tomorrow, even when I am asleep and
who are you to say what I did when you weren’t around
just because I fell in love with you Casanova Brown”

You plan a nice romantic evening.  He, of course, doesn’t come straight home.  It’s 10:00 pm when he finally walks in.  You demand to know where he’s been.  The fighting starts.  He throws everything from the table; dishes, food; everything.  He’s throwing them at you.  The punches and kicks are next.  It’s the alcohol you tell yourself.  He really does love me but the liquor makes him crazy.

standing room only, the concerts so loud
everyone's there for the party
the hush turns to a shout
everyone's got a piece of the pie of you and I
but nobody knows when the lights go down
that the tears fall harder than the whole dam crowd
throw it down my love is just about all I can do
was'nt I the one who said I'll have my cake and eat it to
just could'nt wait any longer you pushed till I was through
I love you so It hurt me but I had to let, let you go

Let me tell you a story of real love:  The husband of a friend loved his liquor.  Every day was

one binge after another.  Then the health problems began.  Frequent visits to the emergency 

room because he would not follow doctors’ orders.  A near death experience still was not

enough to make him stop.  It began to affect her health.  Stress will do that.  Finally, one

day she looked him in his eyes, told him how much she loved him, and how much she loved herself.  She told him that she could no longer watch him destroy himself, and that by

doing so it was destroying her too.  He had 2 choices: Her or The bottle.  He chose her.  He

joined AA, and has been sober 10 years now. 

Love.

Did you hear me crying, baby
It sounded a little bit like this
You did'nt have to make me cry
tell me again and I'll tell you why, It's over.
It's over It's over
Over before the love turns to hate
let's let it end and let's still be friends

(“Casanova Brown” by Teena Marie)

When are you going to stop kidding yourself?  That man doesn’t love you.  Hell, he doesn’t even love himself!!! The liquor simply allows the uninhibited expression of the hatred

and disrespect he has for you.

Do you love you enough to walk away?  Or will you hang around and watch him destroy

himself and you?

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength,

who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my

courage  or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or

innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.”

-- Anais Nin

Be Encouraged!!

Hello Fellow Travelers!!

Our road trip had to make an unscheduled stop, but we’re ready to resume.

How many times have you heard yourself or someone else say “all the good men are taken”?  Sometimes you look around you and you’re almost convinced of it!

Before you determine if some guy is a good man or not, everything begins with the first impression.  I’m not impressed with the brother in the sagging pants and wife beater standing outside the neighborhood bodega.  I realize that brother might be a doctor, lawyer, have a steady job with a pension, his own place, his own car, and may enjoy many of the same things that I do.  But the sagging pants are an immediate turn-off for me.  I realize some women don’t mind it, so to each his own.  But any man over the age of 17 should have his pants pulled up.  Whenever I see these guys with their pants sagging, and their baseball caps turned to the side, and I know they’re in their late 40’s, I want to slap them upside the head and say “You look ignorant! Pull your pants up and turn that hat around! Your old ass out here looking like you still think you’re one of the damn mouseketeers!” For fear of bodily injury I resist the inclination to slap them, and instead choose to say my hellos and keep moving….LOL

This awful fashion trend has found its way into arenas other than  outside the corner store.  Some dress like this when they’re going out to dinner, a show, and other places, it’s their version of being dressed up - sagging name brand pant and a sports jersey with matching sneakers and hat.   A few weeks ago I attended a show where a brother was dressed just like this.  He was there with the friend of a friend.  He was 52.  It makes your heart break. 

Every time he walked past me I kept thinking “Really?  Really? Is this what a single, middle-aged woman is left to deal with?”

I’m happy to say the answer to that question is “NO!”

This weekend I attended my high school class reunion.  (It was a blast!!)  It was a beautiful site to see men in suits, sport coats, and pants that fit.

So ladies, don’t give up yet! There is a man out there for each of us who knows what to wear and when to wear it.  Who knows that he has to come with his game intact, and the proper battle gear.  HOPE SPRINGS ETERNAL!!