Ever had your
shoes polished by the Shoe Shine Man?
I’m not talking about the shop where you can drop off your shoes and
pick them up later. I’m talking about
the Shoe Shine Man where you sit in the seat with your foot up on the foot
rest. Have you ever watched him work?
When you sit
down, the Shoe Shine Man applies the polish paste to the shoe using a soft rag. He does so in small circles, not smearing or
slathering it on. He’s working the
polish into the leather, because it has conditioners and other things to help
nourish and protect the leather. Once
the polish has been applied he grabs his brush and begins to vigorously buff
your shoe; again, working the nourishing and protective qualities of the polish
into the leather. You’re thinking,
“WOW! My shoe is looking good now!”
But he’s not finished!
The Shoe Shine Man
reaches into his back pocket – I don’t know why its always in his back pocket –
and whips out a rag. WHAP!
He puts that
rag on that shoe like piranha in a feeding frenzy. WHAP!
Even spanking
it a few times. WHAP! WHAP!
When he’s done
putting that rag on it your shoe has a mirror finish.
A new lover
wanting to cage you is a similar process.
No really!!
Let’s say you
really really like this new guy you’re dating, and the sexual attraction
between you two is getting hard to resist.
So one night you stop resisting and the sex is ALL that. Hooray for you! You’re living in the moment, and
doing your happy dance! Your guy tells you he wants the two of you to be
exclusive and to see where this thing goes.
(That’s man speak for: I’m not going to be around to put a lock on it so
I need you to lock it down for me.)
Otherwise, just get to it buddy!
Your new lover,
your new Shoe Shine Man, polished and buffed the hell out of your shoes. You’re feeling confident and mighty sexy. You are moving through the world to the tune
of dick! The hormones flowing through your system are going to drive your body
to hunt. To hunt, quite frankly, for
more dick. (Yeah, its a little crude but
you’re a grown-up so deal with it!)
Now for some
women that buffing is just fine, and they can be good until the next time the
Shoe Shine Man pays them a visit. BUUUT,
not all women.
Stop whining
and I’ll explain why!
Some women will
never be corralled by a man who isn’t around to put the rag on the shoes he
buffed!
Let’s say you
got your shoes buffed Friday night. You
thought he was sleeping when you snuck into the bathroom Saturday morning to
freshen up. Like he’s gonna believe you wake up with minty
fresh breath! (But, you know how we
do.) Well, he wasn’t asleep. He saw the extra sway in your hips that even
you hadn’t noticed. He knows he did a
fine job and needs to put the lock in place.
He reaches into his back pocket for the rag!
Saturday
morning, you’re his breakfast treat. WHAP!
Saturday night
he takes you out for dinner and dancing.
You’re against the wall in a bathroom stall. WHAP!
Sunday, its
against the wall in your living room.
WHAP!
Monday you meet
him for lunch. You’re on the hood of the
car. WHAP! WHAP!
Tuesday, you’re
bent over the sofa. WHAP! WHAP!
Wednesday, its
his kitchen table. WHAP! WHAP! WHAP!
WHAP! WHAP! WHAP! WHAP!
I know you get
the picture because you’re panting and your eyes have glazed over!
When your Shoe Shine
Man put the rag on it, he was satisfying your body’s need to hunt. You’re prancing around throwing off all kinds
of physical and chemical signals into the ether and catching the attention of
other men. With a sassy “How you
doin?” YOU ARE WIDE OPEN! (In case you
were wondering: That’s why it seems like other men suddenly become interested
in you after some man has buffed your shoes.)
A smart Shoe Shine
Man, and yours is pretty smart, can’t have you moving through the world to the
tune of dick. You’re liable to do
something stupid!
NOPE! He needs
you moving through the world to the tune of HIS dick.
When he’s done
your body will have all kinds of muscle memory.
The chemicals you emit into the ether will be comingled with his. A signal to other men that someone has
already locked you down and caged the tigress.
And you? Your mind will be clear. Laser focused. Not clouded by the hormonal changes in your
body. Your co-workers will be wondering
what’s gotten into you. They’ve never
seen you work so efficiently. Your
trainer will be stunned. No whining
about burpees from you. He asked for 25
and you gave him 50. You can do the NY
Times crossword puzzle in 3 minutes flat.
YOU’RE A BEAST!
And with your
body tamed and your mind clear, you are now open and able to explore the
possibilities of a new, and hopefully, lasting relationship.
So, how is your
Shoe Shine Man? Has he put the rag on it?
Or are you hunting?
