Wake -up and recognize!!

Your man goes to work every day.  He makes sure the bills are paid, the garbage goes out, your cell phone is charged, and your car’s oil changed regularly.  He’s holding it down and never complaining.  He doesn’t even complain when you want to hang out with your crew on a Friday night, even though he was hoping the two of you would spend some time together. He’s a Good Man.

And you? Your chief concern is what designer label is slapped on your back or your pocketbook.  You’re more concerned about getting your hair, nails, and feet done.  You don’t feel like staying home with him.  He probably just wants to watch TV, and maybe have sex. You’re not looking forward to either: he likes to watch boring stuff, and sex with him just isn’t doing it for you.

Ok.

You hit the club with your crew.  During the evening you meet a guy who’s all that and a bag of chips.  Yeah, maybe a little extracurricular activity will take the edge off.  You call your Good Man to tell him you’re staying at Shonda’s tonight.  You’re thinking,”He’s such a dummy! He’ll believe anything I tell him!”

 You and your new boy toy grab a hotel room.  You pay for it because he forgot his Visa/Debit card and is short of cash.  He hits it just the right way in all the right places.  

More rendezvous at your expense.  

 Things are tense at home.  The Good Man can’t do anything right.  You can’t even stand for him to touch you. You wish he’d just leave! One day he does.  His heart ripped to shreds because he’d given you everything.  He’ll never be the same.

You move the boy toy out of his momma’s basement and into the home with you.  Yeah the sex is all that.  But he never has his part of the rent.  The lights have been turned off 3 times since he moved in.  You take out the garbage because all it does is cause an argument when you ask him to do it.  He loves to drive your car, but won’t help take care of it. You’re trying to hold it down, by yourself.  No more beauty parlor appointments, you can’t afford it.  You do your perms at home. Your feet and nails too.

Who’s the dummy now?

It may be true that the world can’t hold a good woman down, but it’s equally true that a woman can sure screw up a Good Man!

Wake up and recognize what you have!! If you have a Good Man hold on to him!

As for your boy toy: You take him out and play with him every now then, but make sure you put his ass back in the toy box!

Signal Ahead! Do Not Pass!

Driving down the road there are road signs everywhere.  You watch for deer when the sign tells you to.  You slow down a little because a sign indicated you were approaching a railroad crossing.  Signs letting you know you’re in a construction zone raise a red flag because you know traffic fines are doubled for infractions in the construction zone. The road signs are there to make travelling safe for you and others, so you obey them.  You’re very smart to do so.

Why then, does all that “smart” disappear on the road that is your life?  Why do you ignore the road signs posted along the way?  Turn around and look at the wreckage you’ve left behind you!

It’s the 4^th time he’s stood you up. Not even a courtesy call. But at 1:00 AM the door bell rings. ‘He had to help a friend with something’, he says. The alcohol on his breath suggests the friend needed help getting rid of some. You’re fuming and start right into him. “I didn’t come here for this shit!” he proclaims, and heads for the door.  You attempt to placate him by apologizing. You’re apologizing because he showed up wanting an itch scratched after having stood you up again.  You’re apologizing to him for not treating you with respect.  You’re apologizing.  Road signs: Stop; Wrong Way; No Turns

Your rent is $900 a month; a mortgage.  You’d really like to own your own home. You and he have been living together for 5 years. Every time the two of you get a little money saved he wants to spend it on something; the oversized TV, video games, the escalade you can’t afford to fill.  When you talk about a buying a house he calls you “boogee”.  Tells you “you’re never satisfied.  Nagging him about bullshit all the time.”  “He’s right!”, you convince yourself. So you’ve stopped talking about it.  Road signs: Two-Lane Traffic; Road Closed

It was Valentine’s Day.  You bought him a small gift and planned a romantic evening.  Flowers? Please! He didn’t even get you a cheap card. You’re angry, but he’s giving you the silent treatment.  Your punishment for being angry with him.  It never seems to matter what you want, only what he wants you to have.  You try to be happy with him.  But the truth is you’re miserable, psychologically abused, and afraid to recognize you’re a victim.  So you keep your mouth shut, and your head down.  Road signs: One Way; Divided Highway; Lane Reduction Ahead; Stop Here On Red

The signs along the road that is your life are there for the same reason the signs are on the road you drive your car on every day. When are you going to stop ignoring them?

Road sign: CROSS ROAD

Just be patient!

How many times has someone told you that God never gives you more than you can handle? I bet more times than you can count right!  But no one acknowledges that he will push you to the very boundaries of your endurance. One of the most difficult aspects of this is that only God knows where that boundary is.

When you've fallen off the spiritual wagon, it's difficult to have faith that God will not allow the boundaries to break. Like levies during a flood. You feel overwhelmed, lost, and abandoned. You may even become convinced that there is no end in sight. No light at the end of the tunnel. It is the intensity of these feelings that usually cause people to take action.

You go out and get a loan you can't afford to repay, thinking you'll use it to pay off your bills and that will free up the necessary cash. But something comes up, and you use the money in ways other than intended. Or you use it for other things because you lose sight of why you got it in the first place. This decision causes your situation to get worse.

At this point God is probably smacking his holy head thinking, “I had this all worked out and you screwed it up! All you had to do was have a little faith!”

My scenario would be more like this: I’m in the 10 foot deep end of the swimming pool, drowning.  God shakes his head and wonders “Geez! Why are you in the deep end when you know you can’t swim?”  He points to one of the angels and says “Go get her. Put her in the baby pool till I get this problem worked out!” So I’d sit in the baby pool coughing and gagging, and trying not to look mortified.

The point is this, sometimes God doesn’t need your help to get things done. He’ll let you know when he needs you to do something. In the meantime, give whatever it is that’s weighing heavy on your heart and mind to him.  He’s on top of things even when you think he isn’t!

As children bring their broken toys in tears for us to mend,

 I brought my broken dreams to God, Because he is my friend. 

But then instead of leaving him to do his work alone,

I hung around and tried to help in ways that were my own.

At last I snatched them back and cried,"How could you be so slow?"

"My child", he said, "What could I do, you never did let go." --Anonymous

Bucket List

I woke up this morning thinking about bucket lists. You know the “things I want to do before I die” list. The “before I die” part seems unnecessary, so I usually just stop at “things I want to do”. Recently, I went to Vegas with 4 fantastic ladies and had a blast!! While there I did some skydiving (it was an amazing experience and I highly recommend it), and I got to see the Grand Canyon (that was a spiritual experience – we did it by helicopter, landed on the floor of the canyon and had a champagne – FABULOUS!!).  (*deep sigh – I love vacations*)

Anyway, skydiving and seeing the Grand Canyon were 2 things on my bucket list I can now say that I’ve done. I also want to see the pyramids of Egypt, walk on volcanoes in Hawaii, do some white water rafting, and recently added Antarctica to the list (yeah I wanna see the ice and penguins!).

At this point you’re probably wondering, “What is she talking about?”

I’m talking about bucket lists. In particular, your bucket list. We both know you have one. Maybe your list doesn’t include some of the travelling and dare devil crap that mine does, but it’s your list so you can put on it whatever you want. Maybe you have on your bucket list a trip to Disney World for you and the kids, or doing a weekend at a spa like in the movies. You know the mud bath, cucumbers on the eyes, and the masseur Pierre working his magic on a lot of different muscles. (Ok we won’t go there! ;-)

How many times have you talked yourself out of doing something on your bucket list? How many times have you allowed the opinions of others to persuade you from doing something on your bucket list? You tell yourself you can’t afford for you and your 3 children to go to Disney World. Your friends and family think it’s a dumb idea for you to learn French since you don’t know anybody who speaks it. I want you to tell you and them to just shut up!

What kind of research have you done to get you and the kids to Disney World? Have you talked to travel agents? Put a package together yourself? Maybe you can’t afford for you guys to go next month, but what about next year? Other folks may not want you to know this, but you can pay on the trip over time. Like layaway!! Stay at a hotel that includes breakfast as part of its package, has a shuttle to and from attractions and within walking distance to some, and offers discount tickets. Pay for as much as possible in advance of going so that you don’t have to worry about it once you’re there. Heck, make your children your planning partners! Trust me, they’ll keep you on track with “Mom you don’t need those shoes we’ll need the money for Disney World!” Encourage your 13 year old son to cut grass and shovel snow to make a few dollars, so he can have his own spending money. Take him to the bank to open an account to keep it in. The lessons he’ll learn from the whole experience will make him a more responsible person.

Stop letting your life pass you by! With careful planning you can do most, if not all, of the things on your bucket list. Every time you accomplish a goal, or meet some milestone, you’ll feel better about YOU! You’ll be setting a great example for your children. And in case you’re wondering, no you don’t have to tackle the list in order!

So, what are we doing first?!

Where are the Girlfriends?

Just when you thought you couldn’t take anymore. Just when you thought you were at your wits end.  Something else comes up. You’re dealing with your drama, your children’s drama, and other folks drama. The camel’s hump has caved in, and its back to the breaking point. Who can you call?  I’m not talking about the God thing right now.  I mean who can you pick up the phone and call?

I’m talking about your girlfriend! (Not your romantic interest girlfriend - we don’t need to know any of that…TMI!!)

I’m talking about the “walls are caving in on me”, “I’m losing my mind”, “help I don’t want to hurt myself”, “I need to hide away for a while”, “I’ll kill the bastard”, girlfriend! That one woman, or maybe you’re blessed with more than one, that you can talk to about anything cause she’s got your back. She won’t judge you. Nothing you say will ever be thrown in your face. Talking to her is like talking to a Fort Knox vault; whatever you tell her stays with her.  She’s the one who talks you back from the edge of the precipice, calms you down, helps you find some direction and develop a plan. She’ll find the boxes you need, help you pack and load the car. 

Get the picture?

Quite recently, a friend (a girlfriend) and I got into a conversation about “friends and friendship”. (I’ve texted about this before - the trust factor, not pinning the “friend” label on just anybody, different levels of friendship, blah blah blah.)  What my friend and I discovered is that we both have come to realize how many women out here don’t have “that girlfriend”.  They have a woman, or women, they end up trusting because they’ve got to talk to somebody.  But they know their business is about to go viral and spread like wildfire. 

What happened to the “girlfriend”? When did women stop cultivating relationships with other women? We have become so socialized into competing for men, prestige (fake or not), and wrapped up in our own worlds that we don’t take the time to develop necessary relationships.  And I do mean necessary! 

I’m not suggesting you make just anybody your bestest (yeah I used that word), your bestest girlfriend. Nor am I suggesting you force that kind of relationship on anybody. What I am saying is slow down. Get to know the women in your life. Who do you know you can count on?  Who is in your inner circle?  Life is too hard to try to go it alone. 

To my girlfriends: I love ya and ain’t nothing you can do about it! I’ve always got your back!!

They've got to do better!!

Hello fellow travelers!!

Being single, I’m always on the lookout for who could be Mr. Right. That’s not to say I’m necessarily “husband hunting”. I’m not one of these women with the mentality “I’m looking for a husband and if you’re not looking to get married don’t talk to me.” I just don’t walk around with blinders on because I don’t want to miss any of God’s blessings, but I can always use a good maintenance man. Some of y’all know what I mean by that. ;-)

Anyway, on my way to work the other day I stopped at a supermarket to pick up a few things.  I get to the cereal aisle and low and behold there’s a guy in it. Every cereal aisle should have a guy in it! Mmmm I think! Not bad! Nice body. I may be a full figured girl but I don’t necessarily want a full figured man. Or one that’s really skinny. YUK!

Ok, he looks at me and I look at him. I of course don’t want to just stare at the man that’s too creepy. But he’s still looking so time for the cute walk. The aisle is the runway and it’s time to work it girl! As I begin my stroll, an invisible hand reaches out of the floor and grabs my foot. So now instead of the supermodel routine, I’m flailing about trying not to face plant it in Stop & Shop.  Don’t you hate when that happens?!

Once I have my body back under control, I try to play if off by reaching for some cereal on the lower shelf that I have no idea what the hell it is.  Ok! He’s either thinking “She’s a clumsy oaf”,  or “Damn she wanted that cereal really bad!”

Anyway, he’s still looking. YAY!  He comes over to talk. We get through the how do you dos and he introduces himself – Hammer. (I hate it when folks introduce themselves using their nickname…Geez!) Real name Jimmy. (I like that a helluva lot better than Hammer) Eventually he gets to the “How is it a good looking woman like you isn’t wearing a wedding band?”  Ok not very original, but I’ve heard worse.

Jimmy gets an itch in his nether region and takes care of it with 2 or 3 quick digs. Trying not to recoil, I think to myself “You can let him have that one since he’s allowing you to keep your dignity after the acrobatics down the aisle.”

We talk some more. He then proceeds to open the 2 liter coke in his cart, turn it up to his mouth, and drink from it.  (*Note to self: If ever at his place drink bottled water. Make sure you open the bottle.* Got it!)

Having resolved that. I conclude he can still be saved and I tune back into the conversation.

Jimmy asks if I have any plans for the evening, because he was “thinking he could come by my place and we could talk or something”.

Ok, he can’t be saved!

Which finally brings me to my point.  My thoughts at the time were: First, what is “or something”? Secondly, why do you think I just want to sit up in my place with you?  Thirdly, what the hell have you done to get to the “or something”?

What happened to the art of courting? How did we allow it to get to this? For those of you who need clarification I’m talking about “booty points”! I find more and more middle aged men who seem to think they don’t need to earn booty points.  THEY'RE WRONG!! The first date will not be at my place.  Fellas have  some pride in yourselves!  Invite me out for drinks. Pie and coffee. A long walk on a summer night.

Ladies, we need to remind our men that we are women. We should be treated with respect and reverence. That the same rules apply now as they did in our teens. They need to earn booty points! Make them be the men we know they can be. 

Obviously some woman, or women, have allowed Jimmy to believe he didn’t need to do anything but bring his equipment (if you know what I’m saying) and he’d get what he wanted.

Brothers listen up: Step up your game. We need men. If that’s too much for you then take that little boy routine and go play with yourself!! Because it’s going to take a helluva lot more than you sitting on my couch, relaxing in my air conditioning, and taking up space to get to “or something”!!

Draw the line in the sand today ladies!

Lessons in Learning to Love You

Hello there! We started this road trip with my inviting you to "GET LOST IN LOVING YOU".  Some have asked how are we supposed to do that.  I've been giving it a great deal of thought, and I've come up with some things we can all use.  This list is by no means complete! Please add to it either on the blog or in your personal journal.

 ONE: The greeting. I don’t know about you, but I grew up in a house where you didn’t just get out of bed and walk by folks. You said “Good morning”. It’s a show of respect and acknowledgement; and a way of saying, “I thank God for watching over us while we slept, and for giving us a little more time together”. But when you say your good mornings you leave out the most important person in the room. You. You should greet yourself every morning. Acknowledge you! Show you the same respect you just showed everyone else in the house! Look at yourself in the mirror and say “Good morning (your name here). Have a great day!”

The respect you show yourself every morning will begin to show in all the other aspects of your life. You will begin to really see you. I think you’ll like what you see!

TWO: Make healthy decisions. I know what you're thinking, and no this is not more advice on how to eat nutritiously. Lord knows I need major help in that area! McDonald's french fries should be their own major food group. But I digress! I'm talking about nutrition for the whole you: body, soul, and spirit. When you make decisions that cause more stress and drama in your life, you're affecting you in more ways than you know.

You knew when you bought that house that the financial information you supplied included lots and lots of overtime. Now the economy is bad and the overtime has dried up. You're struggling to pay the mortgage, car note, buy the children school clothes, etc. Being house rich is causing you stress, your blood pressure is up, you can't sleep at night, and your job performance is taking a nose dive. You've become short tempered with your love ones, depressed, and feel like you're about lose you mind.

You can't afford to spend $12 a day on lunch so stop trying. You know you gave it up this weekend and you won't hear from that man again until he gets another itch for you to scratch. No need calling him all week and riding by the house. So accept the "relationship" for what it is, or leave him alone and find someone who appreciates you and deserves your time. 

Life will bring it's own valleys. You don't need to dig your own damn hole!

THREE: Pat yourself on the back. When you were a kid you loved hearing praises from others. “All A’s? You’re so smart!” “That’s a beautiful elephant! Mommy’s gonna put it on the refrigerator!” Remember those days? Well now you’re all grown up and, surprise surprise, nothing has changed. You still love to hear praises from others! “Great job getting that report together on such short notice!” “You’re a valuable asset to the company!”

Here’s a question for you: When was the last time you gave yourself a good old pat on the back? You should be giving yourself a pat on the back EVERY DAY!!

Maybe today you finally paid off that Macy’s bill. Maybe you were able to eliminate one of the creditors from your credit report. Maybe today you were able to provide your children with wholesome meals; you cleaned out that hall closet; you brought your breakfast and lunch from home and saved about $15 bucks as a result.

You don’t have to commit some awesome feat for others in order to get the recognition you deserve. You know what it took for you to get up and come to work even though you have bad cramps this month; or your lower back is killing you because your mattress is 25 years old. You know what it’s like to need a new pair of shoes but you’re praying the ones you have will last until the fall because the childsupport didn’t come this month and you had to pay the daycare.

When the kids are sleep, the lights out, and you have a few minutes to yourself, give glory and honor to God for giving you the strength. Then reach over your shoulder, pat yourself on the back and say “Job well done!”

FOUR: Reward yourself! I've had this discussion with some of you before, but we need to have it again. REWARD YOURSELF!! You’ve held it down and held it together all week.  You could have thrown your hands up at any time and given in to defeat. But you didn’t. You deserve a reward!!

Now don’t run out and buy that $500 Gucci pocketbook you’ve been salivating over unless you can afford it – remember Lesson 2: Make healthy decisions. The size of your reward is up to you, as long as it fits in the budget.

You’ve brought your breakfast and lunch from home for the past 2 weeks, it’s a pay Friday, treat yourself to that $10 cod salad you love so much. You’ve been good all month and attended zumba class 3 times a week. Call the massage parlor and treat yourself to a professional massage. A hot rocks massage would be even better if the price is right.

Go to the movies, out with friends, to the park to feed the pigeons, whatever it is that makes you happy!!

Learning to love yourself, is absolutely essential to how you will love others and they love you. If you don’t know what it means to love you, you’ll allow others to treat you any way they want to. Your partner beating on you is not done out of love. You can’t “walk into” a punch if it isn’t being thrown!

By learning to love yourself you can then show others how to love you.

 

First Interview

Good Morning All!!

We’ll consider my posting (venting) yesterday afternoon to be an unscheduled stop.  You know like when you get a flat tire, or the oil light comes on.  One of those “Now what’s wrong?” moments.  So go to the restroom, stretch your legs, smoke your cig, and the road trip will continue shortly. In the meantime, a friend asked me to post one of the earlier text messages she liked (this was before the whole blog thing).   

Here it is:

Those of you who know me well know that my brain is hard wired with random thoughts. Like, "Did Adam and Eve do it doggy style?" or "The first time a man went down on a woman was it so great that he told his buddies and that's how the idea caught on? - cause we like it!  Don't look like that you know you wondered too.  Any who, I had a random thought this morning that what if I arrived at work and was told I had to interview for my job.  Yeah crazy ain't it? But what if you got to work only to discover that you had to go through the interview process like any other applicant for the job you're already doing? What do you think you'd do? Would you walk in with a "this is bullshit attitude"? Would you have a swagger meant to let the other applicants know they don't stand a chance? You know the walk that says  these are my peeps, I got this, y'all can go home.  Would you walk into that interview like you're interviewing for the first time and want to make a good impression?
 
Hopefully it's the last one!!
 
Where is this going? God only knows, but stay with me anyway :-)
 
How would things change if you approached every day of your life that way? Like a first interview.  What if everyday you wanted to make a good impression, put your best face forward, and get the job? Mmmmm......when you think about it, that's what life is - a series of first time interviews.  Every time the good Lord blesses you with another day in the vertical position, it's another chance to make a good impression.  Not just on Him, but on everyone around you. What kind of an impression did you make this morning? What kind of an impression are you making right now? Scary isn't it?!
 
But its not too late! You can start right now! Get ready for the interview. Put your best face forward. Plaster a smile on your face, a gleam in your eye, and take life head on. You'll feel better about yourself, more confident.  The people around you will see you differently.  Treat you differently. YOU'LL TREAT YOU DIFFERENTLY!  You'll not only love yourself, you'll like you too! (don't get it twisted the two are very different things....but we'll explore the "like" thing another day :-)
 
Go on! Show the world what cha got!!
 

DON'T GET IT TWISTED!!

(While it’s nice to know some of you are reading the blog, you should be putting comments on the blog. Not texting or emailing me.  But I’ll try to be patient as you get used to the idea.)

But to the business at hand! (and p.s. – Grasshopper may want to pay attention)

For those not in the know, several months ago I started sending little inspirational quotes and sayings to friends every morning, and some were passing them on to others, etc. Well the messages evolved (because my thinking became even more haphazard), and the texts got longer. A friend suggested I do a blog, this way everybody can read the posting and comment. That’s how we got here!!

I’ve been getting some good feedback. But there are a couple of things I need to address cause some of you are TRIPPIN! Maybe it’s the heat wave. But I’m gonna turn the hose on this bullshit right now!!

A.      This one is to Z: I’ve never considered myself to be a religious person, but I’ve always thought myself a spiritual one.  Cause you never realized that in the many years you’ve known me sounds like some faulty wiring in your processing.  I will use scripture from time to time because it relates in some way to what I want to say.  If you can’t deal, or think it inappropriate in this venue, then don’t read.  This is my blog!

B.      This is to S: Yeah, I started a blog. Does this make me more important than anyone else? No. It just makes me somebody who started a blog. Your low self esteem is not my problem (but maybe this blog will help you with that).  If you spend less time criticizing and attempting to knock down others, you’ll have more time to focus on building you up!

C.      This is to Q: (Backdrop: Q has been divorced about 4 years and has 3 children, and she’s still very angry with her ex-husband.) Q and I have a mutual friend who was sending her my morning texts. I gave our friend permission to give Q my number and email address because she, Q, had suggestions.  Most of them I’ve ignored.  Q feels, and seems to have made it her personal mission, to “correct” (her word not mine) the deficiencies she perceived were in my morning texts, and currently in my blog and its purpose. I want Q to understand this:

a.       No I don’t think for women to feel empowered or powerful they need to man bash. While I may post something that bash the brothers from time to time, this blog is about us - WOMEN. My man is my partner. I don’t need him to validate or valuate me. (two snaps in a circle!!) So, if you need a site where you can man bash all day this ain’t it BooBoo!!

b.      YOU NEED TO GET PAST YOUR MAD! Your life will never move forward if you don’t get past your mad and accept some complicated truths.  (1) That man, your ex-husband, will always be special to you.  You love him. He is the father of your children. And after all this time, you still miss him.  I’ll bet right now, 4 years later, you still know what he tastes like! But you don’t want him. (2) Things we love or want aren’t necessarily what we need.  The physical abuse was not healthy for you. You recognized that and left. (Applause! Applause!)  I’m sorry your leaving him didn’t make him become the angel you wanted him to be.  But reality check! If he was beating your ass before you married him…..!!  (3) You still have a lot of love left in you for someone else.  Someone who will treat and appreciate you the way you deserve it.  Those feelings you’re battling for the ex, stop it! Accept them! Lock them away in that special place! It’ll bring you peace. Cause right now you’re just tearing yourself up inside, making yourself miserable and,  intentionally or not, trying to drag others into it with you. 

Well I’m not going!! I hope any of my crazy random thoughts and pathetic attempts to be poetic will have some positive impact on your life.  Even if they do nothing but make you laugh. So as for my postings – past, present and future – no correction needed!!

Daughters of Eve

Dear Daughters,

             Have you pondered the scars of the earth? Have you marveled at the dust formations left behind by water, ice, and wind?      

             Adam was made from the dust. God took the dust and shaped it into muscle, tendon, and bone. Bone. The bone protects, and is the support structure and framework of the body. 

Adam was made from the dust.  You were made from the bone. 

In his wisdom God made you of stronger material. For he gave you the ability to protect and nurture life within you. He gave you the strength to endure the rigors of childbirth. You are, as I was, Satan’s target. Not because of any perceived weakness, but because of your known strength. Through you God brought love and compassion into the world. You are God’s conduit. You, Daughters, are the embodiment of all that God is.                                          

            The world does all that it can to convince you that you are weak. Refusing to acknowledge your strength and power.  It is, of course, an exercise in futility.  For in spite of all its efforts, the world cannot erase what is fact:

Dust erodes in the wind, and Adam was made from the dust.

Love,

                                                                                   Eve

It dosen't
Matter what
They say or do
Don't let'em
Get to you
Don't be afraid
You can, you can
You can breakthrough
Take what
I've been through
To see that
You can't
Hold a good
Woman down

“Good Woman Down” by Mary J. Blige

The Letter

The night is late and the house is quiet. I go from one room to another. Pacing really, only not realizing I'm doing so. I've scrolled through all the cable channels, there's nothing on I want to watch. Looked through my DVD collection, nothing there either. Here I go to check the refrigerator for the 10th time in 2 hours. Nothings changed. There's nobody here but me.

Where is the life I'd planned? How did it slip through my fingers? I should have held on tighter. Or, maybe, I held on too tight. I can feel my emotions pressing in on me, trying to weigh me down. Keep moving! I've got to keep moving!

Through the house again. But there's nobody here but me.

A storm is coming. I can feel it. My clothes already feeling heavy from its downpour. Seems like I've been trying to make headway through one storm after another. I'm tired! No one I can call. No one who would understand! A wise woman once said writing is " the most satisfying thing next to talking to God himself". But write to who? Who could help me face the rolling waves likely to engulf me? My soul says "I know".

Pen is put to paper:

Dear God,
    I know it's been a while. But I really need your help.

Your Invite

"David inquired of the LORD, saying, "Should I pursue this raiding band? Will I overtake them?" He said to him, "Pursue, for you will certainly overtake them and carry out a rescue!"" ~ 1 Samuel 30:8
 
You're unhappy in your marriage, and have been for a very very long time. Your spouse is mentally and emotionally abusive. Three years ago he injured his leg on the job.  Although the doctors cleared him to go back to work some months later, he decided he wanted to milk the system for as long as possible. He has everyone convinced he can’t work.  Everyone, that is, except you, the doctors, and the people at the disability office.  Two years ago the company shut its doors. He hasn't looked for work, but spends most of his time chatting on the computer, playing video games, and “ helping” your neighbor with her car problems. Meanwhile, you've been holding it down.  Working long hours and struggling to pay the bills.  The mental and emotional abuse has increased. You were considering leaving even before the injury and job loss. Now you're concerned about what other people will think. "She's cold hearted to leave him like that!" "How can she abandon him when he really needs her!" "What a bitch!"
 
The aforementioned scripture is about taking back what has been taken from you.  While David was asking the Lord if he would be successful if he went after the raiders, have you noticed how many times we seem to need an invitation to pursue and take back what has been taken from us?
 
SO LISTEN UP BOO-BOO!! You didn't cause him to injure himself on the job. You didn't cause the company to close its doors.  And your neighbor's car problems aren’t do to your neglect.  There is nothing wrong with you wanting more, and pursuing more.  In point of fact, you deserve more.  You deserve to be happy.  We cannot properly and thoroughly love another until we learn the most difficult love of all. The Love of Self. If you love you, would you be mentally and emotionally abusive to you? If you love you, would you treat you with disrespect? Did I hear you say no? Then why do you allow another to do it to you?
 
"I had to lose myself so I could love you better
I had to lose myself, had to lose myself so I could
Love you better, lose myself in love
And that's just the way it is! ~ Marsha Ambrosius
 
                                                                     Here it is:
 
                                                                You're Invited To
                                                      GET LOST IN LOVING YOU!
                                                Being Held in the Garden of Your Life
                                                                  Starting:  NOW
                                                                  Ending:  NEVER
 

Welcome to JENuine Truths

Remember road trips? When you were a kid you’d sit in the back seat and play games or listen to your walkman (for those of you who don’t know – that was before the age of the ipod!).  You’d talk with the other kids about music, who was a real hottie, what car you wanted when you grew up, and what snacks did your mother pack.  All of this while riding down the road.

When was the last time you took a road trip?

Well that’s what this blog is; a road trip.  The road? Life.  The destination? To fulfill the potential God has given each of us.

We’ll laugh a little, cry a little, and inspire, encourage and empower each other.  We’ll see some wonderful sights and stop at some amazing places.  We’ll see some sights that will leave us shaken, and places that are dark and scary.  There will be forks in the road (Do we go left or right?), hairpin turns, and roadway straight and flat.  We’ll go through deep valleys and climb high mountains.

If you’re reading this then that means your bags are packed and you’re ready to go.

So hop in! There’s plenty of room, plenty of snacks, and oh so much to talk about!