You know I hadn't realized I didn't blog at all in 2017. WTF?!?!?!
In any event, I do have some words of wisdom for the coming new year. First, lets recap. Hopefully, you're still making use of a good time fund and a dream keeper (don't forget to go through it and clean it out). I hope you found that hobby we talked about, and made 2017 different.
So lets talk about 2018.
Recently a friend said to me that her 2018 was going to be about removing seats from the table.
I'll give y'all a minute to absorb that. Because DAMN I love the symbolism!!
Removing. Seats. From. The. Table.
Some of you have a person, or people, in your lives who should not or need not be there. This person not only has a seat at the table that is your life, but they're seated directly to your left or right. With that kind of close and constant access to you they can continue to whisper in your ear. They can occupy your time to the point that you're ignoring, or have forgotten about, the other people at your table. Or even forgot about yourself.
TYPE ONE: You've begun to notice that this person always has some chaos around them. Some drama. That chaos or drama may not even directly involve you, but they always manage to drag you into it. Worse yet, now that I've got you thinking about it, this person has often been at the center of or someway involved in chaos and drama that erupted in your own life.
They're quick to spread rumors, violate a confidence, or talk you out of something that would be beneficial for you. Remember when you wanted to follow the Dave Ramsey plan to get control of your money and your debt. That person told you it was stupid and would never work. You bought that bullshit even though you know friends and family who found great success under the plan. The little whisperer worked on you constantly. Even encouraged you into spending that only caused your financial situation to continue to spiral out of control.
Remove their seat from the table.
TYPE TWO: Sometimes, the person is someone will do anything for you. Ready to lend a hand whenever you need it. Sounds ideal right? But as you think about where you want your life to be, how you want to grow as a person, you begin to realize that this individual is in fact a weight holding you back. That as much as you wish it weren't true, this person either doesn't want to grow or is incapable of it. And so they do things to try to make you comfortable at their level. To lull you into a sort of stasis; a stagnation. A point at which your growth has stalled. Or having stalled your growth because you're too busy trying to drag them along. Your star can never reach its full shine potential if you're constantly feeding your energy into a black hole.
I know what you're thinking: "Perhaps I can just put some seats between us. Not give this person such direct and immediate access to me. Maybe that'll work?" Maybe. But if your relationship is on a more intimate and emotional level you'll begin to resent this person. Leaves a bitter taste in your mouth doesn't it?
Remove their seat from the table.
Sometimes a person is simply meant to be a guest at your table: there for pie and coffee, or a glass of wine. You may have someone at your table whose trying to become a permanent fixture, but shouldn't be. They were invited for breakfast. But they want to stay for lunch, dinner, and a midnight snack. Some are up to no good. Sent by the enemy to disrupt and destroy. Some mean you no harm. May even love you. But they're causing harm just the same.
Think of it this way. You're dining table seats six. You've put as many as eight people to the table. Folks squeezed closer together, and you brought up 2 folding chairs from the basement. Those folding chairs were temporary and NEVER meant to remain at the table long-term.
Get the picture?
Make 2018 you year to remove seats from your table. Take stock of who has access to you and yours, and their purpose and contribution. It doesn't matter if the person is truly unwanted, or a guest that has over stayed their welcome, escort them to the door. (Remember how your mama raised you and only be rude if you have to be!)
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
