PRIVATE…..NO ADMITTANCE

Well you’ve made it through Christmas and Hanukkah, and the year is nearly over.  That means it’s the time of year I share with you some of my thoughts – JENuine Truths.  And hopefully provide advice to make the coming year better than the last. 

I was thinking maybe we need to do a little recap of the past couple years.  Just in case there’s stuff we’ve forgotten.

So here we go!

10/28/2011:  I talked to you about the resources God puts in your path to help you achieve success.  The goal for the coming year was to identify and make use of those resources.  Here’s an example: You want a promotion, but realize you lack even basic academic training to move to the next level.  You’ve spent the last several years complaining about needing more money, but doing nothing about it.  The company offers some tuition assistance, so what the heck are you waiting for?  OK, so it won’t be enough to help you work on your masters, or even your bachelor’s degree.  But it would be a big help paying for some classes at the community college.  RESOURCES!!!

12/4/2012:  “Dream Keeper” – You were going to develop a dream keeper if you didn’t already have one.  For those of you who had dream keepers you were going to: (1) remove the clutter; (2) add, update, and amend; (3) elevate by taking advantage of resources; and (4) make periodic reviews of your dream keeper.  Just like shampooing your hair.  Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

12/28/2014:  GOOD TIME FUND!! Hopefully you were all successful with your saving.  If not, don’t be discouraged.  Now’s the time to be honest with yourself about what went wrong.  Did you set the bar a little too high? Did you fall behind and found it impossible to catch up?  Did you lose focus and started dipping into your good time fund? (Looking at you over the top of my glasses) We will do better in 2016! Remember, it’s not about lowering expectations, but about laying the foundation for success.

12/31/2014:  You were supposed to find a hobby.  I know some of you still think that’s silly, but if you found yourself in a Barnes and Noble during the holiday season you’d have seen a wide array of coloring books for adults. Yeah, coloring books! No not that kind! You’re so fresh!  The coloring books had designs to promote meditation, to soothe, to destress.  Just as I told you a hobby would help you do! You need something that will give your brain some down time from the everyday struggle.  Hobby. Find one.

Now that we’ve been reminded of all the things we should still be doing, let’s talk about the coming year. 

This is what I want you to do when you go back to work after January 1:

Day One: I want you to go to work commando.  To clarify, I want you to go without underwear.  Ladies bras are optional.  I want you wait for everyone to get settled, then send   emails, or get on the PA system, and announce your commando-ness to the entire company. 

Day Two: I want you to send emails, or get on the PA system again, and tell everyone whether or not you had sex the night before.  If you did, describe it - in detail - and tell everyone if it was good or not.  

I could go on, but I think I’m losing some of you so I’ll stop right there.

Besides thinking I’ve completely lost my mind, you’re probably thinking that none of the things I’ve asked you to share with your unsuspecting co-workers is any of their business.

I agree with you 100%. 

But I can’t help but wonder why you think you shouldn’t tell these things to your co-workers via the company email or PA system when you tell it to the rest of the world on Facebook and twitter!

SOME OF YOU HAVE LOST YOUR DAMN MINDS!!  MAYBE YOUR MAMA DIDN’T SMACK YOU ENOUGH!

You’re putting some of the most intimate details of your life out here for the world to see. 

Couples are having arguments through their Facebook and twitter accounts.  WTF!!!

You’re seeking advice from folks that don’t have a dog in your fight!  You know you can’t afford that Mercedes SUV, so you look for validation and justification from people on your “friends list”.  NEWSFLASH: Everybody on your friends list ain’t your friend!  None of those folks will be able to help you pay your car note or car insurance if you have even a minor financial setback.  And we all know even a minor financial setback can take a long time to recover from. 

Decisions that could have a profound effect on you and yours should be discussed within the walls of your home. Problems in your house should stay in your house. 

Here is your challenge for 2016:

TAKE BACK YOUR LIFE!!

Take back you privacy! Your family’s privacy! Take back your common sense!! (You want to know about the quality of a diamond? You ask a jeweler.  You don’t ask crazy cousin RayRay, who thought the glass vase he bought at Walmart was Swarovski crystal!)

Suspend your Facebook and twitter accounts if you have to.  Shut them down!

Make 2016 the year you stop making your business everybody else’s business.

MUCH LOVE and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Get Back in the Game!!

Ok! OK! I’m late with this, but I been doing stuff!

What I’ve been doing is not what you should be focused on right now! *hands on hips*

Anyway……

We’re a little more than half way through the year.  I’ve been hearing rumblings about the “Good Time Fund”. 

To put it bluntly, some of you have fallen off the wagon.  That ain’t nothing but the devil trying to get in your way!

BUT DON’T WORRY! I’M HERE TO HELP!!  IT’S NOT TOO LATE!

Let’s say your plan was to put $10 aside every Friday for your Good Time Fund, but you haven’t put anything in the fund in the last 8 weeks.  That would put you $80 in the hole (oh shit!) and Friday fast approaching!

You’ve thought about it long and hard (don’t be fresh!) and you just won’t be able to put $90 into your fund on Friday to bring it current.  So you figure the heck with it. You throw your hands in the air and give up.  Giving the devil a victory?  Not here Boo-Boo!!

Before you throw in the towel, let me give you some advice to get back on track.

First let’s examine why you fell off the wagon:

Did you just forget? – Sometimes life gets in the way of even the best made and simple plans.

Was putting aside the $10 a bit of a hardship? – I know what you’re thinking, “It’s just $10!” I’m embarrassed to let anyone know that I can’t afford to put a measly $10 aside.  Some of my friends are doing $25, even $50 a week.”

Some tough love:

     (1)   Your “FRIENDS” wouldn’t think less of you because $10 is a hardship.  Any one of them   
           who does isn’t really your friend.  And trust me! They may not know it all, but your friends
            have a clearer picture of your financial situation than you think.

(2)   WHAT WAS THE FIRST DAMN THING I SAID ABOUT THE GOOD TIME FUND? Put aside what you can afford.  If the amount you chose is too tough to do right now, THEN LOWER IT!  Don’t set yourself up to fail! 

This is not about having a whole lot of money saved, it’s about getting you to save.  Some people will have saved a $1,000 or more.  Some will have saved maybe $100.  But for many, whatever the amount, it will be the first time they saved up.  Instead trying to take $200 out of one paycheck, or having a checking account with more than $20 in it because of your income tax check.  If you can save $100, you can build on that!

*WOOSAH* (deep breaths)

Here’s a plan.  Put your $10 in this week. Take the $80 you’re behind, and divide it into small payments over the remaining weeks.  How far you spread it out is up to you.  Then add those payments to your $10. 

For example:  If you spread the $80 over a 10 week period, that’s $8 a week.  So beginning next week (July 10^th ) you would contribute $18 a week over the next 10 weeks.  Your payment on September 18^th will just be $10 because you’ll be all caught up.

If you spread the $80 out over the next 25 weeks, that’s an addition $3.20 a week.  So your payments would be $13.20 each week. Get it!!

BUT…..BUT……BUT

If the $10 was a struggle for you, then decrease your amount.  Under these circumstances you can write off the $80 and just start with your reduced payments.

OR

You could decide to reduce your payments AND make up the arrears.

I can see you’re getting sad faced again.  You can only afford about $5 a week?

Then do this:  Lower your weekly payment to $2 a week.  Spread the $80 out over the 25 week period at $3.20 a week.  For a total Good Time Fund contribution of $5.20 a week!  Will you have saved a lot of money? If you had Bill Gates’ pockets, no. But you don’t! You have yours!

So…..YES YOU WILL HAVE SAVED A LOT OF MONEY!!

Get up.  Brush off the dust and grass. Look Satan in the eye and say, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! And I WILL be doing this!”