Success Is Yours!!

Journeys.  Life is full of them.  Some chosen, some not.  Some so unbelievable as to be surreal.  And while we may not always get to choose the journey, or even the path, I do believe how we come out at the end is something within our control. 

There are times during a journey we may make decisions counter-productive to success. 

Two years ago you decided to start your own wedding planning business.  But you can’t seem to get the business off the ground, and the few weddings you have been involved in have not gone off well.  It’s the client’s fault, you tell yourself and everyone else.  The truth is, you were always late and made promises you didn’t keep.  You never followed up with the florist, the caterer, or the management office at the banquet hall.  Your assistants were your teenage cousins, who spend most of their time looking at the guys and texting their friends. 

Your unwillingness to acknowledge your own shortcomings creates the environment for failure.

The bible tells us:

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”  Proverbs 3:5-6

I believe these verses refer to resources, and the Lord putting them in front of you.  The problems you’re experiencing in your wedding planning business may have been avoidable if you’d taken the time to attend the free “Starting and Managing a Business” seminar offered by the Small Business Administration.  Or perhaps you would have benefitted from serving for a short time as an assistant under the tutelage of a successful wedding planner.  You could have learned what pitfalls to avoid. 

Resources you chose to ignore.

So as we approach the end of the year, and start thinking about those New Year’s resolutions; again.  Take some time to think about the journey you may be on, and the one you’d like to be on.  What resources has God placed in your path that will help make the journey successful?  In the past, what resources did you ignore that contributed to failure?

Don’t buy into the concept that how you come out at the end of a journey or situation is beyond your control!! People who tell you that don’t realize you are supposed to be successful.  The bible says:

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”  Jeremiah 29:11

Remember, any hurdle or mountain in your path that seems too daunting to get around, God has placed a resource somewhere to assist you.  Find it. Use it.

God has put success in the palm of your hand.  Don’t drop it!!

BRAVO!!

To Grasshopper:

You found yourself in a battle you didn’t want. Didn’t ask for. And tried to avoid.  But it came to you anyway.

You’re concerned about what people will think of you and the situation you find yourself in.  There are those around you who call themselves “friend”, but who waited for a call, some word, some sign that you had broken down, or had been beaten down.  Unable to care for yourself or your children.  Hospitalized. Sedated. Unable to function.  Some would even have been satisfied at that outcome.

But they don’t know the half of it.  Do they?

They don’t know there were times when you were knocked to the ground. 

Hell, there were times when your sword and shield were just too heavy to hold.  Times you dropped them and laid down.  Took the blows.  Told yourself “God, I can’t do this. I can’t handle it. It’s too hard.” 

But, somewhere there was a well of strength you drew from.  A well you had no idea was there.  And every time you got knocked down, got knocked back, or felt like giving up that well would feed you.  You’d get up, pick up your weapons, and keep fighting. 

Again. And again.

Now you stand on the other side of the bullshit.  The victory yours. 

Battle scarred. Armor dented. Shield cracked, and sword in hand.  Your feet planted on the path, while you stand guard over your Mini-Me’s.

You look toward the future. 

You don’t know what challenges lay ahead.  What battles you have yet to fight.  But with your shield held high, a firm grip on your sword, and the Holy Word in your pocket you can say emphatically, “I got this!”

And as for what people think? We the people

APPLAUD YOU!!

It's us!!

Recently, a friend of mine shared an experience with me that she and I both found puzzling, interesting, and disturbing all at the same time.  She apparently caught the eye of a guy who, by the way, she had also been checking out.  His approach?  He walked up to her, handed her his card, said “Use it”, and walked away.  

She was so unimpressed she used it to help add weight to the nearest trash can.

While this was my friend’s experience, we’ve all had something similarly crazy happen to us.

Maybe the guy who approached her thought he was being very cool and mysterious.  Instead he came across as a jerk.

I’ve blogged before about guys and how they’ve fallen waaaay short on how they approach us.  So I think we need to finally talk about how we encourage this bullshit.

My sisters, what the hell are we doing?  The guy who approached my friend, the man I met in the supermarket, the brotha you met at the club, all need to get their assess in gear.  When we settle for second best, we can’t be surprised when that’s what we get.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard a man say “You’re too demanding!”  I always think “Really?” It’s too demanding to expect you to act like you have some damn sense?  What the heck is handing your card to a woman and saying “Use it”?  

The problem?  Some woman with low self esteem felt flattered by Mr. Here’s My Card.  She should have done what my friend did.

Let’s get something straight! Don’t believe the bullshit that there aren’t men out there who at the very least know how to approach you!! The problem isn’t the man.  The problem is you.  There's no need to ask yourself why you keep ending up with these guys that can’t cut the mustard.  It’s because you keep accepting them.  You’re going where they are!!

You love art.  You find going to the museum relaxing and inspiring.  You want someone who enjoys that too.  I’m not trying to suggest that the guy you met at the club doesn’t also enjoy those things, but the guy you met at the art museum is a better bet if that aspect is very important to you.

I think you need to take a step back and re-evaluate yourself, and what’s important to you in a partner.  You want a handy man? Don’t look at the guy who tells you he intends to call his building superintendent to change the standard light bulb in the bathroom. You want to be treated like you’re special? The guy you’ve been seeing since July, who can’t even give you a $50 gift card for Christmas is a losing bet. 

We want guys to step up their game? We have to step up ours! The first step in doing this is asking yourself: Are you worth it?

I think you are!  I think we are!! But you have to believe it! If you think the thug in the jersey and matching sneakers hanging on the corner is the best you can do, then that’s all you’ll get.  

There are better men out there!  We just have to know where to look.