Friends or no

Talked to a friend the other day who finds herself in a situation that’s not that uncommon.  Her situation does however have a surprising twist, so I figured I’d put it out in the blogisphere.

Let’s call my friend Maggie.

Maggie’s been dating a guy for several months (we’ll call him Joe), and her emotions are getting involved.  She says she’s not in love with him, but very much “in-like” with him and would like for their bond to get tighter.

OK.  

Joe apparently sensed Maggie’s growing emotional attachment and went on offense. 

He took her out for a nice dinner, and a long walk by the water.  (A romantic!) During their water side stroll Joe voiced his suspicions and concerns regarding their “relationship”.  He apparently enjoys her company, in and out of the sack, and would like for them to continue seeing each other.  But as friends! 

OUCH!

As you can imagine, Maggie is not feeling very magnanimous right now.  She’s extremely angry with Joe, and his picture is the target on the dart board. 

Let me admit right now that I don’t have the emotional involvement that Maggie does so this is easy for me to say.  I will also admit that if it were me, I would probably be feeling the same way Maggie is.  But hopefully one of my friends would give me an  objective opinion, and help me to reel in my emotions and put things in perspective. 

Having said that, I think her anger is misdirected.

Let’s all recognize that Joe could have allowed Maggie’s emotional attachment to him to blossom, knowing he didn’t feel the same way, and then taken advantage of her.  But he didn’t!

He has so much respect for Maggie that he was honest with her!  Kudos to him!

How many times have you been in Maggie’s situation only to discover the object of your affection isn’t returning the favor?  Or, he tells you what you want to hear so he can get what he wants? You can spend months, even years, wondering: Is you is or is you ain’t my baby!

I say to my friend Maggie, and to anyone else in a similar situation, if you can’t handle just being friends then end the relationship.  Stop seeing him!!  Don’t put you or him through that emotional turmoil.  It’s not worth it!

But if you can see through the haze and keep your emotions in check, you can continue to enjoy the company of what sounds like a really nice guy, while you continue your search for that special somebody.

 Are Maggie’s feelings hurt?  Hellz yeah! 

But isn’t it infinitely better to have your feelings hurt than to have your heart broken?