Bad Timing

Your ever heard the phrase “timing is everything”? 

My New Jersey folk know it snowed here a couple of days ago.  It wasn’t a lot of snow, but it was wet, heavy and slushy.  And it was also very very cold outside. (Brrrrrr!!)

What had happen was, I was shopping in Walmart in Watchung and found myself in a very polite conversation with the guy in line in front of me.  You ever notice how easy it is to laugh with a stranger when you’re standing in line at the cash register? You talk about everything from the weather to the kids to food prices, whatever.

I noticed my register buddy was handsome and wasn’t wearing a wedding ring.  He had the salt and pepper thing going on in his beard, and very nice lips.  He didn’t have “those lips”.  You know the ones that make you fantasize about parts of your anatomy.  But nice lips none the less.  His jeans were very flattering to his rear, and his turtleneck and sweat shirt hugged a broad chest and nice arms.

 OK, so I did more than just “notice”! J

He pays for his stuff, tells me to have a great holiday and goes on his way. 

I pay for my stuff and head for the exit.  You know how some Walmarts have two sets of doors? Well it turns out that the door I was exiting from was the furthest from where I was parked.  Great, now I have to trek to the other side of the parking lot, in the frickin snow, with no umbrella, and its cold as heck.  As I’m making my way across the parking lot, I see my register buddy walking up one row of cars looking around. He yells to me that he’s forgotten where he parked.  We both laugh and keep doing what we’re doing.  I manage to find my car, which was a miracle because I have a terrible sense of direction and often forget where I park.

I get to my car and have to start getting the crap I’d bought into the trunk.  My hands and feet are freezing, and my head is wet cause I just walked from the other side of this big arse parking lot.  In the midst of my fighting hypothermia my register buddy appears in my peripheral vision.  His car, the one he was looking for, is parked right next to mine.

Your’re thinking, “Girl it was meant to be!”

He jokes about how he should have just followed me. (we both chuckle, chuckle, chuckle)

He mentions the crazy weather again, and how he was unprepared for Hurricane Sandy.  He had, he said, just returned from Botswana or some such place the day before the storm hit.  He’s pastor of a church and he was there doing some missionary work, blah blah blah.

And you’re thinking, “And he’s a man of God? Girl he’s better than the brother from the cereal aisle!”

Well register buddy is still talking.  I think he was telling me some more things about himself.  I can’t say for sure because my thoughts actually tuned him out.  What was I thinking about so hard?

Well it kinda went something like this:

“I bet wherever it was you said you just came from it was warmer than here. You couldn’t have this conversation while we were in Walmart?! Where it was warm! I’M COLD!! Have you not noticed how fast I’m trying to get this shit in the car?  Do you not see and hear my teeth chattering? See watch me blow on my hands! My glasses are so wet I can barely see your ass!”

I guess some sort of frustration (maybe even anger cause I was getting pissed off) must have shown on my face, cause he just sort of stopped in mid thought and said he’ll let me go and for me to have a nice holiday.

Now you’re probably thinking, “Dummy! That could have been your blessing!”

I have to admit that in hindsight I had been thinking the same thing.  BUT!! I also believe that if anybody’s timing is always perfect, it’s God’s.  Wanting to tell me all about yourself while I’m catching pneumonia in the bitter cold is far from perfect timing! How could I possibly focus on register buddy if I’m too concerned about frost bite?!!

I’ve concluded (and this makes me feel soooo much better) that register buddy was just God’s way of ensuring me, and anybody else still looking for their soulmate, that there are still eligible brothas out there. 

So I’m here to spread the word!! To all my single sistas: Don’t give up! Mr. Right is headed your way!!