Where do we go from here?

Every now and then, you get introspective and you wonder about your life, your future.  These moments are rarely welcomed, because they often force you to exam the things you’ve been avoiding. Your mind has somehow decided to lay the sullied aspects of your life on the table while you’re tied to the chair and your eyelids sewn open. This will often happen when you’re in a relationship that has far too many variables.

You love him. More than you’ve ever loved any man. You’d do anything for him. Have done anything for him. Despite the drama and baggage he brings; baby mama drama, drinking problem, hanging out, not coming straight home, etc., your heart wants more.  But every time you want to talk about your future together he gets irritated.

On your day of introspection you wonder, “What am I getting out of this?”

“When you’re in love

Some things you take for granted

Until someone pulls it apart

And leaves you with half of your heart

How do I trade

The best I have for less

Without giving up

Should I slowly accept that we’ll be no more than just friends

How do I know

When to let go

I know what I’m feeling inside

But part of me still wants to try

So tell me

Where do we go from here?

Why’s my heart filled with so much fear

When all that you are is all

I need and more”

“Where Do We Go From Here?” by Deborah Cox

Perhaps you should turn you introspection around. Ask yourself this instead; “What is he not getting out of it?” Let’s see, you’re the cook, the maid, the lover, and babysitter to his children. You work all day, but find your nights and weekends taken up with his struggles. His messes.  He has the audacity to get upset when you refuse to babysit another woman’s child; when you’ve decided not to cook or scrub the floors after work when he’s been home all day.

Where do you go from here? How about where are you right now?

Have the two of you built any real foundation upon which to build a relationship? A future? Are the blood, sweat and tears all coming from you? How long are you going to stick it out? How many times do you have to take one for the team? How much longer do you think you’ll last mentally and emotionally if the more you do the more he demands?

How’s that working out for you?

Listen up Booboo! It’s time to change strategy! Deuces are wild in this game, and its time you stopped holding yours! Put it out there! Let him know what you need and want from him. That you need and want it now. Is he ready to pull his weight to make this thing work? What law in the universe gives him a monopoly on happiness?

It’s his turn to introspect! And he damn sure better get it right!!