Smelly manners

Dictionary.com provides 3 definitions for the word “etiquette”. One of which is:

“Conventional requirements as to social behavior; proprieties of

conduct as established in any class or community or for any occasion”

In other words, knowing how to act!

Stopped at the gas station.  It’s a station I’ve visited many times before.  There’s a guy at this particular station that usually spends a lot of time flirting with me.  This trip was no different.

Let me say that he isn’t bad looking and has an amazing body.  But he doesn’t have any teeth.  

Correction….he has 3 rotten ones.  

We all know how I feel about teeth.

Any who!

I was the only car at the station so I had his full attention.  

In order to feel the full power of his animal magnetism he has leaned down into my window resting on his very muscular forearms.  I was rather enjoying the whole crowding my personal space with his wide shoulders thing, but focused on his eyes and tried not to look at his mouth. 

BECAUSE HE HAS NO TEETH!! (Sorry)

After about 5 minutes of him trying to convince me to let him show me a good time, I hear a noise.  Actually it sounded like a tire going flat.  I mean it was loud.  I started looking around, but he seemed unconcerned.

Then I learned why.

The smell hit me so hard I almost choked.  His fart smelled like something had crawled up his ass and died!!

It was one of those smells that burns your eyes and gets in your mouth.

I turned the key in the ignition and started rolling up the window.  I nearly took the man’s head off!

I keep febreeze in the car so I started spraying my seats, the air, the dash board, everything!

He thought the whole thing was hilarious.  I thought it was rather disgusting.

I mean, you’re trying hard to get into my pants, so I would think you wouldn’t want me to smell crap (pardon the pun) coming out of yours!  This must be a male thing cause even little boys have a fascination with farts!

Where was the etiquette?  Pretend you need to look at the gas pump or something!

So, the handsome guy with the amazing body…..has no teeth, no sense of etiquette, and something dead in his intestines.

Where is the justice!!