Survival Mode!!

I had the most interesting conversation with a friend of an acquaintance about yesterday’s blog.  Just to give you a little background, this guy (the friend of the acquaintance) was laid-off from his job about 18 months ago, and has not been able to find work.

MMMM…..scratch that……maybe it would be more accurate to say he’s been unable to find a job he likes and is willing to stay on.  (That’s a blog I’m itching to write…..soooo….tempting!!.......*voices whispering* “Yes my Precious, wright it! Wright it!!”)

Jen!  JEN!  - - - - Focus!!

OK.  OK.  I’m back!

While talking with me, the friend of the acquaintance concluded that I was still in survival mode, and, in his opinion, that I should be out of survival mode now that I’ve been on my new job for a month.

I had to think about that one………(Jeopardy theme song plays in the background)

Yep, still in survival mode!  And you know what? I’m ok with that.

The unexpected layoff caused me to take action, and delay action, on some things.  Now with that personal crisis over, I could simply put all plans back on the table right?  Nope! I’m going to take this opportunity to re-evaluate.  Take a step back.  I can already say there are some plans I’ve completely scrapped. 

You see, sometimes we get so caught up in our plans, hopes  and dreams, that we make decisions that aren’t always the best decisions for us.  It’s like choosing between carpet and hardwood floors! 

(Stop with the rapid blinking the analogy will make sense in a minute!  Geez!)

Ok you with me? 

High quality carpet feels good underfoot, right?!  And you’d planned to put it in every room except the kitchen and bathroom.  But what if your 8 year old suffers with really bad allergies, or your significant other is a heavy smoker?  Under either of these circumstances carpeting would not be a good choice for floor covering.  Hardwood would be better.   If Hurricane Sandy hadn’t come along and mucked things up, delaying Empire Flooring coming out and measuring for carpeting (you were taking advantage of the “one room for $99 get one room free” installation special), you wouldn’t have had an opportunity to rethink that purchase. 

It’s too bad that it often takes some crazy event for us to rethink things.  We run headlong into the fray and realize much too late that we hadn’t thought stuff out as well as we could and should have. 

There are also wondrous things to see in survival mode.  See the “Naysayer" and False Encourager” emerge like maggots from rotten meat.  (YUK!!) 

Who are they?

The Naysayers are the ones that will try to discourage you from just about anything. 

Why go back to school when it isn’t going to matter in this economy anyway? 

You shouldn’t take that promotion because it’s too much of a headache. 

The False Encouragers take the opposite approach.  They try to cajole you into doing things not in your best interest.  With a friendly smile, a pat on the back and some gentle ego massaging that has your eyes glazing over:

“Don’t look for a job right away.  You should take about 6 months off.” 

(In case no one ever told you, let me pull your coat tail right here….The longer you’re unemployed, the less employable you become….don’t buy into that other bullshit!)

“I think you should buy that $300 pocketbook.  Take it from your rent money. You can make it up next month.”

If you’re really special, you’ll meet the barely recognizable ‘Naysayer/False Encourager Hybrid’.  You gotta be on your toes with them.  Like shape shifters they move between the two realms with the fluidity of water.  Like a kid in a school yard they’ll challenge you.

“Go ahead and buy that Jaguar.  The note is only $950 a month.  Treat yourself well. What are you scared or something?”

You have to shut them down quick! Just look that monstrosity in the eyes and say:

“Yeah, I’m scared.  I’m scared of losing everything I worked hard for listening to your dumb ass advice!”

Whew!!

I’m thinking it’s not a bad idea to think of survival mode as a great place to visit from time to time.  To take a step back and re-evaluate your plans, your journey, and the path on which you walk. 

Maybe set aside an evening or weekend a month - or every couple of months – to rethink some things.  You can even make it a group activity.  Some delicious food, great wine, and good friends you can count on to give you sound advice and suggestions.

Survival Mode. That place between plan and action.  Where your occasional visit may cause you less grief and frustration down the road.  A place of peaceful contemplation.

 A place in the twilight zone!  (Sorry! I’ve always wanted to say that :-)