TRICIA-THE-MISERABLE

People are naturally curious. It’s part of our human nature.

We want to know about things: space, the ocean, volcanoes, animals, God….and too many other things to mention.

But our strongest and most consuming curiosity is about each other.  Let’s face it! We want to know what each of us is doing, how we’re doing it, and why we’re doing it.

We want to know what makes each of us tick.  What makes up each of our lives; both personal and professional.

This curiosity is so innate in each of us that we barely notice it.

Sometimes, however, that curiosity can cause someone to over step their bounds.  We usually call these people nosey.  Take the following scenarios for example:

BACKGROUND:  Bernice and her husband Aaron have been having some marital problems over the past year.  He’s had more than one affair, and has been less than attentive to his wife.  Bernice has often confided in friends, and those she thinks are her friends.  Christmas has just come and gone. Conversations are going something like this:

ONE:

Cathy:  Hey Berni how was your holiday?

Bernice:  It was good! And yours?

Cathy:  It was good. Wish we’d had more time off though!

Bernice:  Ain’t that the truth.

This conversation is quite acceptable.  Bernice and Cathy may be friends or just casual acquiantances, but neither delves too deeply in what is going on with the other.  The door is open, however, for deeper conversation should either of them need it.

TWO:

Steven:  Bernice! How was your Christmas?

Bernice:  It was good! And yours?

Steven:  It was ok.  Didn’t do much.  We went to my Mom’s for dinner.  How about you? Was Santa good to you this year?

Bernice:  Yeah.  I got jewelry, a watch, clothes, and a gift card for me and a friend to go to the spa.

Steven: No drama from Aaron?

Bernice: No drama.

Steven:  Good! Glad you had a good day! You deserved it!

Bernice:  Thanks Steven!

Is this conversation acceptable? I think so.  Steven could have done without the question about Aaron, but he accepts Bernice’s response and keeps it moving.  Not too much digging.

THREE:

Tricia:  Hey Bernice!

Bernice: Hey Tricia! How was your holiday?

Tricia: It was good! I didn't do anything.  Just stayed home and chilled out. How about yours? Was that no good husband of yours home, or was he out with one of his women?

Bernice:  He was home.  He cooked dinner.

Tricia:  Cooked dinner? I guess those other women he’s been so fascinated with had other plans for Christmas.  Did his sorry ass was even bother to buy you anything?

Bernice:  Yeah.  I got jewelry, a watch, clothes, and a gift card for me and a friend to go to the spa.

Tricia:  *Hrumph!* What did he do, pick up some cheap watch at Walmart? I’ll bet while you and a friend are at the spa his trifling ass will be with someone else.  You shouldn’t even fall for his bullshit girl!

Bernice: No, it’s an Anne Klein. (Quiet and feeling uncomfortable)

Tricia:  That bum probably bought a knock-off. Has he planned anything for ya’ll to do New Year’s eve?

Bernice:  We don’t really have any plans.  I’m hoping we’ll just have a candle light dinner at home.

Tricia:  Whatever! You’re stupid!  You should have kicked his ass out.  You should have told him what to do with that fake watch.

Bernice:  I don’t think it’s fake.  The watch was in an Anne Klein box, and he gave me the Nordstoms gift receipt so that I can go have it sized.

Tricia:  Pleeeaase!! He probably got the receipt from a watch he bought one of his women.  You’re gonna look like a damn fool! Well, I’ll talk with you later.

Bernice :  Later.

Aren’t you glad that WTF moment is over?

I have problems with Tricia on soooooo many levels.

First off, even if she’s Bernice’s best friend, it is not her place to refer to Bernice’s husband by anything other than his given name.  She is waaay out of place referring to Aaron as “no good”, “trifling”, and a “bum”. 

Secondly, her constantly bringing up Aaron’s transgressions, and criticizing the gifts, should make any reasonable person ill.  If Bernice said she had a good holiday, let her have that.  Especially if you know she’s had a rough go of it over the past year.  A real friend would be happy for her.

Let me tell you what I think Tricia’s problem really is.

Tricia didn’t have anybody to spend Christmas with and she envies the fact that Bernice did.  Tricia can’t stand the fact that despite the problems in the relationship, Aaron and Bernice had a nice Christmas together.  Remember my blog about misery loving company?

Meet Tricia-the-Miserable.

Tricia shows entirely too much interest in Bernice and Aaron’s relationship.  This is the bitch to watch.  Women like this often have ulterior motives.  Tricia probably wanted to be one of Aaron’s other women, but he wasn’t even giving her a second look.  She also can’t stand to see Bernice happy.  She’s doing her best to keep a wedge between Aaron and Bernice.

Solution?

SHUT THE MISERABLE BITCH DOWN!!!

Do it fast! People like Tricia don’t recognize personal boundaries.  If you let them cross that line without getting checked they’ll cross it again and again.  They aren’t just nosey, they’re meddlesome.

Do you have a Tricia-the-Miserable in your life? 

Take action! Tricia-the-Miserable will keep discord in your relationships!  Strife in your life!

Tricia-the-Miserable wants what you have!

But if she can’t have it, then she’ll do everything in her power to make sure you can’t either!!