Hello fellow travelers!!
Being single, I’m always on the lookout for who could be Mr. Right. That’s not to say I’m necessarily “husband hunting”. I’m not one of these women with the mentality “I’m looking for a husband and if you’re not looking to get married don’t talk to me.” I just don’t walk around with blinders on because I don’t want to miss any of God’s blessings, but I can always use a good maintenance man. Some of y’all know what I mean by that. ;-)
Anyway, on my way to work the other day I stopped at a supermarket to pick up a few things. I get to the cereal aisle and low and behold there’s a guy in it. Every cereal aisle should have a guy in it! Mmmm I think! Not bad! Nice body. I may be a full figured girl but I don’t necessarily want a full figured man. Or one that’s really skinny. YUK!
Ok, he looks at me and I look at him. I of course don’t want to just stare at the man that’s too creepy. But he’s still looking so time for the cute walk. The aisle is the runway and it’s time to work it girl! As I begin my stroll, an invisible hand reaches out of the floor and grabs my foot. So now instead of the supermodel routine, I’m flailing about trying not to face plant it in Stop & Shop. Don’t you hate when that happens?!
Once I have my body back under control, I try to play if off by reaching for some cereal on the lower shelf that I have no idea what the hell it is. Ok! He’s either thinking “She’s a clumsy oaf”, or “Damn she wanted that cereal really bad!”
Anyway, he’s still looking. YAY! He comes over to talk. We get through the how do you dos and he introduces himself – Hammer. (I hate it when folks introduce themselves using their nickname…Geez!) Real name Jimmy. (I like that a helluva lot better than Hammer) Eventually he gets to the “How is it a good looking woman like you isn’t wearing a wedding band?” Ok not very original, but I’ve heard worse.
Jimmy gets an itch in his nether region and takes care of it with 2 or 3 quick digs. Trying not to recoil, I think to myself “You can let him have that one since he’s allowing you to keep your dignity after the acrobatics down the aisle.”
We talk some more. He then proceeds to open the 2 liter coke in his cart, turn it up to his mouth, and drink from it. (*Note to self: If ever at his place drink bottled water. Make sure you open the bottle.* Got it!)
Having resolved that. I conclude he can still be saved and I tune back into the conversation.
Jimmy asks if I have any plans for the evening, because he was “thinking he could come by my place and we could talk or something”.
Ok, he can’t be saved!
Which finally brings me to my point. My thoughts at the time were: First, what is “or something”? Secondly, why do you think I just want to sit up in my place with you? Thirdly, what the hell have you done to get to the “or something”?
What happened to the art of courting? How did we allow it to get to this? For those of you who need clarification I’m talking about “booty points”! I find more and more middle aged men who seem to think they don’t need to earn booty points. THEY'RE WRONG!! The first date will not be at my place. Fellas have some pride in yourselves! Invite me out for drinks. Pie and coffee. A long walk on a summer night.
Ladies, we need to remind our men that we are women. We should be treated with respect and reverence. That the same rules apply now as they did in our teens. They need to earn booty points! Make them be the men we know they can be.
Obviously some woman, or women, have allowed Jimmy to believe he didn’t need to do anything but bring his equipment (if you know what I’m saying) and he’d get what he wanted.
Brothers listen up: Step up your game. We need men. If that’s too much for you then take that little boy routine and go play with yourself!! Because it’s going to take a helluva lot more than you sitting on my couch, relaxing in my air conditioning, and taking up space to get to “or something”!!
Draw the line in the sand today ladies!
Okay, first of all....I would've thrown up the deuces sign when he told me his name was "Hammer." That "I'm supposed to ignore" jock scratch, would have been clue number two. And definitely NOT last or least, the drinking the unpaid for soda in the middle of the aisle would have had me running for the exit door. (hahahaha!)
ReplyDeleteI get the whole "courting" thing...but we also have to justifiable in WHO we even decide to start courting. Remember the old days, when a young man would come to your house, and your parents would make you guys sit in the living room WITH THEM and watch TV. The only "play" anybody was getting was at the front door on the way out. Even then, it was a mere peck on the cheek, because MOM DUKES was peaking out of the window.
While there, your parents would ask him all types of stupid questions, that would embarrass the hell out of you, but would give them clues into this persons background. Questions like -who's your momma? your daddy? what they do for a living? what are your plans for the future? what kind of grades do you get? do your parents know you are here? blah blah.
There needs to be an adult on-line course or adult education class for ADULTS to learn to ask these questions when they meet -any MR. Even if he is standing in the aisle at Stop and Shop, scratching his crotch, drinking an soda that has not been purchases and wanting to go to your house and talk or "something."
More importantly, we should all practice the following words....KICK ROCKS!!!
LMAO!! While I can agree with much of what you say, it still does not explain the prevailing attitude of many (notice I didn’t say most) of our men. My theory is we have become so socialized into believing that there are so few men out there that we need to hang on to whatever we can get. Thus, we lower our expectations. You know the mentality: A piece of man is better than no man at all. I resoundingly reject this way of thinking!! But so many of us think this way that the Jimmies of the world have been allowed to fester and grow. I no longer need my mother to ask questions about his people and job. Although Lord knows she would have!! I didn’t have time to take care of all that in Stop & Shop, they would have been first date questions. (maybe I’ll start carrying index cards with a few quick questions on them….*note to self*)
ReplyDeleteI think we began to expect so little from our men that they began to think us unworthy of more. But why should we expect less? Yes these are tough economic times and there are a lot of people out of work. I still want a man who has a job! Ok, your company closed down and you got laid off. How long ago? What have you been doing since then? Sorry Boo, you’re no good to me if I’m the one paying for my own good time.
mmmm….not sure if “Kick Rocks!!” does it for me….maybe I need more practice…..LOL