Have you ever met a guy in a bar, club, supermarket, whatever, who’s trying to talk his talk with you but he’s married, unmarried but living with someone, or in some other way attached? Nine times out of 10, if you ask him if he’s worried that his significant other is getting her thing on with someone else while he’s running the streets, he’d tell you no. He believes she’s home with the kids, at choir rehearsal, or just sitting at home hoping he’ll come by. He’s convinced he’s got that locked up. His stuff is pure gold and there’s no way she could want another man. We women know better! So every time some guy spews this bullshit I can’t help but hear Johnnie Taylor singing in my head:
“Who’s making love to your old lady, while you were out making love?”
Now as wise as we women are, we seem to get all stupid when others are trying to tell us our man isn’t keeping his love at home.
Your momma told you she thought she saw your man’s car at another woman’s house. But you dismiss it because your momma is old with bad eyesight. You cousin Shirley told you she thought she saw your man at a club the other night, but she couldn’t get real close to make sure. You dismiss this because Shirley loves to tell lies and cause chaos. Finally, your best friend since the third grade, Yolanda, tells you she has seen your man riding around with some woman in his car. That while on her date last night she spotted your man and this woman at Applebee’s.
Now you see red! Unfortunately however, your rage is directed at Yolanda. All kinds of things go through your head. “She needs to mind her own damn business. She’s just jealous cause she don’t have a man. You talked to her a hundred times yesterday and she never mentioned she had a date. Desperate bitch was probably following your man around. And you know your man was at his mother’s last night helping his sister move some furniture around. You talked to him while he was driving over there.”
Now that you’re cocked and loaded, you’re ready to shoot the messenger!!
Well, before you go and ruin your friendship with the one person you know will be there to comfort you should you find out your man is cheating, I want you to listen up Calamity Jane!!!
Don’t blame the bearer of bad news!
When someone comes to you with some news that your man may be stepping out, by all means you should think about their motives. Yolanda has never come to you with this kind of stuff when it came to any of your boyfriends. You haven’t noticed any behavior from her that should lead you to believe she has some hidden agenda. It may be time to face reality. Especially if you’ve been suspecting your man is cheating. (The key word here is “suspecting”! No you shouldn’t jump in his face and accuse him of messing around unless you know it for certain!!)
What you should do is thank your friend for letting you know. That if she should spot your man and this woman someplace she should just call you. You’ll handle things from there.
Don’t let the warnings from friends and loved ones be signs you simply dismiss. Be in your relationship with your eyes wide open!
I was introduce to a somewhat nice gentlemen at least I thought he was, will any way we have been going out to dinner & sometimes breakfast. I was really starting to like this Man. Until he told about this lady friend. He claimed they are only friends. In other words a sexual relationship. He's not in love with her, and that she is ok with this. This lady is married with a husband & 2 kids. I told him I was not ok with this. I cannot base a relationship with him off of lies. I am too old for this nonsense & when he get his self together and out of that mess than you call me. I seen all the signs. And my eyes are wide open wide. Thank You For All Of Your Posting.
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