When he's got to go!

We all have our little quirks and annoying habits.  When we meet a guy with some annoying little habit we tend to try to look past it thinking, “I can correct that!”  It’s as if he’s the new puppy and while we really want to spank him for making poopoo on mommy’s new rug, we’ll overlook it and work on getting him house trained.  Don’t bother to deny it cause you know we do just that.  But every now and then, you meet a guy with some quirk or habit that is way over the top.  Here are a few things I’ve experienced along this path that were clear signs the brother had to go!

He doesn’t get out much – Imagine you’re in a restaurant sitting across the table from your date.  The zest he’s showing during the meal must mean what he ordered was really good.  So good in fact he puts his face to his plate to slurp the juice or gravy.  (I’m not making this up!)  If you get one of these, it means his momma didn’t slap him up side his head enough about his table manners.  There’s nothing you can do with him.  At this point he needs the dog whisperer or something.

Presumptuous – You’ve gone out with him a couple of times and you like what you’re seeing.  Handsome, attractive, sexy, intelligent…..mmmmm.  As the two of you head back to your place you’re thinking:

“Should I just give him some

Maybe

Is this the night for fun

Maybe”

(Maybe by Toni Braxton)

You hesitate because you don’t want to rush this.  He takes a seat on the sofa, and you head for the bathroom.  You haven’t given him any indication about what you’re thinking.  When you re-enter the living room, there he is: his shoes off and his feet propped up on your coffee table; his shirt unbuttoned; and his belt undone.  You have a WTF moment.  Here’s a brother whose decided that any decisions you thought you were gonna make have already been made.  No Boo!

I don’t know how to talk to a woman – This is your first date and you’re looking forward to learning more about this man.  His conversation all evening is about how much he likes your cleavage.  He likes the size of your butt, your lips…..blah blah blah.  The worse part about it is, not only does he think he’s a playa, he thinks he’s turning you on!  When I get that, ”Ooooo your breasts look so pretty from over here”, I usually say “They are! Now what kind of work do you do?”

Uh, are we together?  – I’m a little old fashioned! I like it when a man holds the door for me, stands when I leave the table, open and closes the car door, etc.  As much as I enjoy that kind of attention, I don’t necessarily look for it.  But a man being rude is completely unacceptable.  He’s gotten out of the car and is already 10 feet in front of me.  He bought my movie ticket, and him some popcorn.  After paying for his treats and stepping out of line he turns to me with,  “ Are you going to get you something?”  We get into the theatre, and he removes his coat and puts it on the seat between us.  And is completely confused later when I don’t even want to hold his hand, let alone any other part of his anatomy!!

His friend “Joe” – I think it’s really great when a guy has a friend he admires.  Particularly if the friend is doing well for himself.  Maybe the guy you’re with has the same aspirations.  I love a man working to move forward and up!  But when he spends most of the date with you telling you about Joe’s new car, new big house, how Joe started his own business and is really successful,  Joe’s big TV, etc.  I just cut to the chase and asked for Joe’s number.

When was the last time…  - How many times have you met a guy and he asked, ”When was the last time you were with someone?”  I’m always amazed by this question! For those of you who have not had this experience, the brother wants to know when was the last time you  had sex.  I’ve always wondered what could be going through a man’s mind when he asks that asinine question.  Do men think the longer you’ve been without, the more desperate you are, and the easier it will be for them?  HA!! Brothers! Listen up! A woman can get sex anytime she wants.  If a woman hasn’t had sex in a while it’s because she’s choosey about who she has sex with!  The next time some poopoohead asks you that question tell him, “The sex I had an hour ago was really good.  So what’s your name?”