You met him when you were in your early thirties. He’s just a few years older than you. You’re now in your late forties and still seeing him. Sort of. Your relationship is one where he pops in and out of your life, and bed, once or twice a month. He tells you the things you want to hear, gets what he came for (a meal, some sex, drink, whatever), and goes on his way.
He showed up New Year’s eve. Sort of. You tell your friends you spent the evening with him but the two of you decided to stay in. The reality is he showed up at your door at 2:00 A.M., looking fine, smelling good, and a little intoxicated. You didn’t tell your friends that part. You see he’d already been to a party, and apparently couldn’t get any play there, so he came to you.
Old stand-by.
You haven’t heard from him in weeks, then one day you get a call. He’s talking in that voice that makes you want to take your clothes off. You know the one. He eventually wants to know why he hasn’t heard from you. That he’s sick in bed with the flu and you haven’t called to check on him. You start apologizing, wanting to comfort and nurture him. After work you get some groceries, take them to his place, fix him something to eat, give him his medicine, and clean up the apartment. He gets better. HOORAY! You catch the flu. After numerous calls you let him know you’re ill and asks if he’ll go to the store to get you some soup. “I just got over the flu, I’m not coming over there. You must not care if I get sick again”, he says. A few weeks later, he calls you at 10:00 P.M. wanting you to come over. You go.
Old stand-by.
This has been the pattern from nearly the beginning. You’ve allowed it to go on for a long time. You tell yourself you’re not waiting for him, but the truth is, you are. You love him. You figure that if you stick around, he’ll come to his senses.
But you’ve only become Old stand-by.
He calls you one day to tell you he’s in a lot of pain, can barely walk. You rush over, get him dressed, and take him to the hospital. He has serious health issues and needs someone to take care of him. You move him in with you.
Old stand-by to the rescue.
His body is broken down and torn up , he can barely get it up (you know what I mean), and when he does the action is over in 5 minutes. His best years are behind him now. Years he gave to other women, who are nowhere to be found. Oh, and that wife he’s been separated from for 20 years, the one he never divorced, the one who is still his beneficiary on everything – she called to give you her contact info should he take a turn for the worst.
Does this describe you? Are you in this category? Think about your life. You love him, but he doesn’t love you! You put your life on hold while he lived his. Now you’re the one stuck with the sick old man, and most of your life wasted away. Why are you waiting for someone who doesn’t want you?
Live your life now!! If you still want him later, fine. But don’t waste your precious years staring out the window hoping he’ll come by. Don’t allow yourself to become Old stand-by!!
I have just buried my uncle, I witness this with his Girlfriend or Lady friend. They have been together for 25 years. They also have 3 kids together. He was with his wife at the time he met this lady. She work with him. He cheated on his wife with her for 8 of those years. He would invited her & the man she was dating at the time to all our family function. I was problem about 23 at the time when I found out he was cheating on my aunt with this lady. Finally my aunt could not take no more she left him. The lady man found out about my uncle and her relationship he left too. So for the rest of his years he party with this lady but never married her. My aunt still was the beneficiary to his policy. I watch the other women take care of my uncle. She was at his hospital bed. She had no say so over anything. She did not even get to ride in the family car going to the grave site. His wife got her back end the end. So don't waste your life on a man who is never going to married you.
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