Maya Angelou once said “As far as I knew white women were never lonely, except in books. White men adored them, Black men desired them and Black women worked for them”.
I can understand why Maya Angelou, given the time period she grew up in and the lack of information likely available to her, might have held those beliefs. I must admit that I am absolutely astonished that so many of my Sistas still belief that nonsense.
What? Are you locked in a closet 23 hours a day?
Look around you! Women of all shapes, sizes, and colors are having the same problems. Yes, there are issues between Black men and women that need to be addressed. But 99% of them are the same issues faced by men and women of other races.
You sit in your car at a traffic light, trying not to cry. Your man came in at 3:00 this morning and refused to talk with you about where he’d been. You look to your left. There’s a White woman in a very expensive car putting a few touches on her makeup. You think to yourself, “I’m gonna get me a White man. White women don’t have to put up with this kind of bullshit!” Little do you know that the white woman was adding more makeup to hide the dark circles under her eyes. That the scarf around her neck is hiding bruises. That driving is extremely painful because he probably broke some of her ribs last night. That the fight was with her ex-husband, the doctor, because he hasn’t paid child support in 6 months. That the bank is looking to repossess the car she’s driving. The car he’s supposed to be paying for. That he raped her.
You sit at your desk, on hold with the utility company, trying to get them to take a small payment to turn the electricity back on. Your man hasn’t worked in six months, and doesn’t seem to be looking for work. The Asian lady from the next department comes by. She’s always pleasant, and always has a smile. You’re thinking, “I bet her man keeps the lights on”. That’s easy because she’s only allowed to have them on for 2 hours a day. She isn’t allowed on the bed unless he wants sex, and then she has to return to her pallet on the floor in the corner.
If you and your man aren’t on the same page when it comes to dealing with issues in your relationship then maybe you need a new man. Or maybe even a new you. That man will do what you allow him to. It hasn’t taken six months for you to realize he wasn’t going to look for work. Hell, he hasn’t held a steady job since you met him. (Yeah Boo, that was one of those road signs!)
Don’t blame the color of his skin for your problems! Don’t always believe the grass is greener in someone else’s back yard!
They may just be hiding the weeds better.
No comments:
Post a Comment